Staying Focused On Him

Since beginning my journey to becoming a certified minister in the Assemblies of God, I have learned so many new things. Whether those new things have been in the actual textbooks, reflection, or in the lecturing, it really varies. The last course I have been working on has been on the topic of relationships and ethics in the ministry. Surprisingly, after reading the entire textbook, I realized how much of the information I had already known, been taught, or was aware of.

I grew up as a pastor’s kid (or PK) from the moment I was born until my senior year of high school and have, and continue to be, heavily involved in the ministry at my local church. I know so much about relationships and ethics, because I have been living it my entire life. From hearing conversations between my parents and others from being instructed by parents or others in leadership, these ideas of what is appropriate or what is morally acceptable has been instilled in my life from a very young age. And for that I am extremely grateful. I am thankful that it is natural for me to engage in relationships and situations in a way that is appropriate.

I still have a lot to learn. No one is perfect and I appreciated the different tools that the author suggested to help us in our every day journey. Some things are easier said than done and I personally know people who have failed morally while serving in the ministry and I’ve seen how it can destroy families, churches, and relationships.

In the text, I found the section that talked about “depression” the most interesting. I really do believe that the enemy targets those, in a kind of, spiritual authority the hardest. And when the enemy strikes, frustration, anxiety, and anger can quickly and easily lead to depression. I think it would be encouraging for people who deal with being depressed to know that they are not alone and that even great people in history dealt with it.

The Lord wants us to be focused on Him and all the things He wants for us. My prayer is that I would stay focused and depend on Him in all times of need. And that the Lord would protect and guide me in all relationships and moments that require making a difficult choice. 

How Far We've Come

During the course of the past few months, I have been in a brand new journey that, although a me from a few years ago would have said “What??”, has actually fit in quite naturally. I have been taking courses to become a certified minister within my denomination, the Assemblies of God. What started as an idea about just wanting to learn more about the Lord, His Word, and what my denomination believes in all aspects, became a journey in which I am seeking that first step of certification. Its funny how the Lord will help us to take first one small step, and then another, and still another, until eventually we look behind us and… Goodness, how far we’ve come! That’s exactly how it’s been for me lately, in lots of ways.

The course that I’m finishing up this weekend has been all about the history, governance, and missions of the Assemblies of God. Everything from how the Assemblies first came about, to how its progressed through the years, the missions focus that has been there since the start, and how people have worked hard through the years to create the Constitution and Bylaws that hold the denomination together.

With all of the history that I have been reading, it has reminded me of my own history with the Assemblies of God. And the farther back I look, the more I see that I didn’t realize before. Wouldn’t you know that I am the 5^th generation in my family that is a part of the Assemblies of God!? I am 5^th generation AG! Wow.

I mentioned that I am working towards being a certified minister but I didn’t say that my dad is an ordained Assemblies of God minister. In fact, right now he is more a part of the Assemblies of God US Missions because he is serving as a chaplain. But it doesn’t stop there! My grandpa, on my dad’s side, was a licensed minister with AG too! My great-grandpa was a part of the Assemblies of God within the church. And my great-great-grandpa was an ordained minister who pastored in the U.S. and Canada. Apparently, his wife was also a minister and would pastor the church when he was away doing revivals! There are also cousins, uncles, and who knows how many others that were also a part of the Assemblies of God.

I really think it is awesome that the Assemblies of God recognizes women to be licensed ministers because there are still a lot of denominations who do not. When they first began in 1914, they only recognized them as evangelists and missionaries. But in 1935, that changed and women could be pastors. So when my great-great-grandmother was a minister, it may not have been all that long that that change had occurred. And here I am, able to take courses through distance learning and was able to serve as a MAPS missionary for 5 months overseas!

So when I look back at all that history, at the way the Assemblies of God has changed my family, it’s just incredible. I wonder if my great-great-grandpa could look back at how his family changed if he would say… My goodness, how far we’ve come!

…the extraordinary colors of His love…

Hello old friends,

Fall is without a doubt my favorite season. I love the sunny days that display the colors of the trees so perfectly, as well as the cloudy, windy days that remind me of the chilly days ahead. It’s a whole new color palate, compared to our summer, with hues of captivating reds, mustard yellows, rusty oranges, vibrant greens, and rich purples. Catching a whiff of the fall air creates a desire within to lose myself in a forest or find that perfect place to drink a hot apple cider.

One morning last month, I was on my way to class and noticed for the first time how the leaves were changing colors. I made a mental note to stop on my way back to take a picture at one especially colorful tree. After class, I took a picture and reached up to inspect the color and detail of a leaf more closely. In that moment, God spoke something that my heart had really needed to hear… You aren’t meant to be just green. You aren’t meant to be normal. You are meant to be bold and bright like this tree changing from green to reds, yellows, oranges, and purples. You are meant to stand out…

This was so special to me because last month was a bit of a challenge. I was having the feelings of being normal. Not anyone special. Nothing exciting going on in my life. I even tried to “spice up” my life without asking God about it. It fell through. I became frustrated. Bored. For so long I’ve had something to “say” about my life. Things like going to Russia have been a big part of my plans for SO long it was my life. But now my life seemed so ordinary. And I was fighting it… but not quite sure how to. At the same time I was having temptations of “becoming ordinary”. You may think that isn’t possible but it is. People began to come into my life who told me that being “ordinary” was “extraordinary”. I was caught not sure where to turn and not exactly understanding what was happening. I felt the tugs and the frustration inside me and finally began to quietly whisper for Gods help… Even though I didn’t quite know what the problem was I knew deep down that only He could put those puzzles together.

Possibly now you can see why that simple reminder from Him was so special and intimate for me. I haven’t looked at a leaf since that day without being reminded of God’s love for me and that I am destined to be extraordinary.

Since refocusing my perspective on things, God has been showing me opportunities to become more than average. In seasons of “fall” (or life), we can have the tendency to prepare to hibernate for the “winter”. We want to wait for something to have a difference in only if it literally hits us in the face. Seasons like spring and sometimes as late as summer. Because everyone else is doing it we fall into that spiritual winter….

“He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.” Proverbs 10:5

I challenge you. To be bright, bold and to reflect the exquisite colors of our Heavenly Father. Don’t fall asleep during the most exciting adventure that we will ever have…

What an amazing person you are.

Destined to be more than ordinary,

Leah

only the beginning of the adventure…

Dear Friends from all over the world-

Last time we talked, I was writing from the desk in my dorm room at the university. This time, I write to you from my desk back in Illinois… I admit that it’s not quite the same.

The last 5 remaining days I had in Russia were filled with goodbyes, packing, wrapping things up with the university, and lots of “this is the last time I will do this” moments. Saying goodbye to all who became a part of my Russian family was just as hard as it had been when I said goodbye to my real family back home. My goodbyes with girlfriends, Vika and Natasha, were sad but thankfully not filled with a bunch of crying. I was not so fortunate when leaving the Hinsons. I made up for my dry eyes with them. My last day in Khabarovsk I attended my church picnic and baptism service in the Amur River. It was an awesome way to finish my trip. I thought it was special to have everyone from church there to say goodbye too. I’m not going to go into much detail with all of the goodbyes… For one thing that could get a little monotonous for you to read… And another is that I’m choking up just thinking about it. So we’ll just skip around a little bit.But.... here are some pictures of the baptism and me with one of the pastors sons...







Travelling for two days to get back home was not as fun as flying usually is for me. I didn’t sleep much at all and I just wanted to get home. It honestly felt like I was in the Twilight Zone or something between my two lives… Slightly creepyish. When I saw the welcome sign to the US in the LA airport I started singing “God Bless America” for some strange reason. When the customs people welcomed me back home I took it in a very literal way and thanked them very graciously. During my different layovers in the US I just watched and listened to people speak in English. The outlets and other random things caught my attention like I was a little child in some strange place. I wanted to hug the first black person that I saw in Korea… He was a rather large and strong looking man so I contented myself with giving him an imaginary hug. In LA I could hear two women having a conversation but I got very frustrated when I couldn’t remember what language it was… Its not Russian.. not English… its not Chinese… or Japanese… WHAT else could it possibly be?! Spanish. DUHhhhh. I searched the LA airport until I found a restaurant to eat real pizza. I was rewarded by some amazing cheese pizza with none of the weird stuff Russians put on theirs. But yeah, I’d say I got about 6 hours sleep in the two days of travelling and then my sister wouldn’t let me sleep till like 10 pm that first night back home. It was a very cruel thing to do…

I had a week to get unpacked and catch up on sleep before packing again and heading to be a counselor at youth camp. It was a long, hot week but worth it. I had about a week to unpack from camp and do some job hunting and fall semester to do lists before packing again for vacation with the fam. We visited family in Iowa and Minnesota. So now I’m back home again…. Sick of packing/unpacking and ready to get things rolling. This will be my last semester at the community college in town and then I will be at ISU in the spring.

I have about 2,600 pictures from my trip to Russia… try and scrapbook all of those… It was SUCH a privilege and honor to live in Russia for 5 months. To be able to meet the people I did, see the things and places, to learn and to become a part of so much. Even though it was a short time and it hurt to say goodbye… Thank you God for giving me that opportunity to go. I am so incredibly blessed. I pray that I will never forget my days in Russia.

Like I said, I am excited for where God has me TODAY. The last thing that Amanda Hinson said to me, as she was literally in the doorway on her way out, was that she felt like God was saying, “That when you are boarding that plane for home, that that is when your adventure is just beginning.”

Thank you to all of you for reading my blog, praying for me… I will continue to post but don’t expect any stories about my daily life in Russia because I don’t live there anymore:) Although I’m sure I’ll mention it once in awhile and maybe tell stories I didn’t tell before.

You have amazed me.

Lest I forget,
Leah

“I’m not who I was…”

Dearest Friends,

I have returned from my mission’s trip within a mission’s trip… I’m alive!! I’ve actually been back for a few days, but my faithful computer thinks it needs a new battery. It randomly plays dead and I can’t use it for a few hours. Silly contraption. Although playing dead is quite a good trick. Can YOUR computer play dead?? I thought not.

Now I’m going to be extremely open with you guys about the mission’s trip. Extremely. Well, I can honestly say that I have gone LEGIT camping for what ended up being 7 days. Bathroom in the bushes, baths in the Amur River, snakes in the campsite, eating extremely fresh fish, storms bringing water in your tent, sunburn with no available sunscreen, bugs in your food, washing dishes in the river, campfires for warmth and not just smores… Yeah, I’d say it was pretty legit. I wish I could tell you about all the people who came to the Lord, the people filled with the Holy Spirit, all the healings and miraculous things we saw… but I can’t. Honestly, I didn’t see much of anything other than the campsites and the little bit of evangelism we did while on our way to a new campsite. Me and Tim Eshelman were made the official security for the campsite. That way we didn’t have to break camp every day and the Russian speakers could do the talking with the people. We earned our way by being security, helping around the campsite, and praying for the team as they went out every day. We had three different campsites. The first was on sand, the second was on rocks, and the third was straw that we put on the rocks. So very comfy cozy… :) We were always able to camp along the coast of the Amur River since that’s where most of the villages are. It really was a survey trip to find out where the villages, roads, and people are. There were several places that the map said there WAS a village but once we got there we saw there was only like 5 people living there now. The villages are definitely disappearing. So the surveying part of the trip we were able to accomplish. We took tons of Christian literature with and gave away almost all of it. A lot of seeds were planted in the hearts of the people in the areas we were in.

As far as how the trip went for me… Again, I’m going to be very open with you guys… All around it was pretty rough on me. I thought I had been roughing it these past 5 months and then I’m put out in the forests of Russia… In 7 days time, I got sunburn, a bad cold and 123 (that’s one hundred and twenty-three) bites from mosquitoes, gnats, and the like. Not to mention the sleeping on rocks and trying to sleep through storms that soaked my sleeping bag. Washing in the Amur River is not what I would consider an efficient system for a thorough clean up. Keeping watch over tents for days on end is not exactly exciting. Eating fish for every meal except 2 was not exactly appetizing. I could go on and on:) Pretty sure I learned that I am a city girl when it comes to legit camping… Communication between us team members was difficult since half of us were American and the other half Russian. I struggled with that every day.

But, I did have some high points of the trip (believe it or not)। If I haven’t mentioned before, sunsets in Russia are amazing। And I was able to see many of them which were made even more amazing with the river and giant hills. Those 7 days were a great time to see and appreciate Gods beautiful creations. God also taught me a good lesson that with His help I can handle more than I think I can. Many times during the trip I told God that I’d had enough and that I simply couldn’t handle anything else to go wrong or happen to me… One more bug bite, one more night in that tent, one more mouthful of fish, one more word in Russian I couldn’t understand, one more day feeling helpless just watching the tent, one more bug infested trip to the bushes, one more day in the sun on top of my already burned skin… But even though pretty much all of those things happened when I said I couldn’t handle it… I survived. I’ve been very humbled these past months with what I am able to do as far as ministry because of the language barrier. It continued to remind me of how many opportunities I have in the US just because I can speak the same language. But this trip really humbled me. I watched our stuff. I washed dishes (as always:). I prayed. There wasn’t much I could do. I did get to hang out with my adopted brother Tim quite a bit seeing how he was my partner in security. We were hired around the same time… :) I really prayed that during the times I was with Tim that I would be a good example for him and an encouragement. Being with the other members of the trip was pretty cool too. I shared a tent with Lena, the only other lady on the trip. She was one of many stand-in moms for me during my time in Russia. It was really cool to see her love for the Lord and how she put that into actions. I think the real highlight of the trip for me was when the team found some Christians in one of the villages who have a house church. We were able to go there for Sunday service and meet everyone. The “Pastor” is a girl around my age who grew up in the village but moved away for school. God called her back after she graduated and she has been trying to grow a church ever since. With our team of six, we doubled their church attendance for the day. But it was so great to see that SOMEONE is doing something out there. We now know that a church DOES exist and we can stay in contact to help out. It was a great time fellowshipping and encouraging the church there. I had the “Pastor” write down some specific prayer requests for their church and I will be bringing them to my small group back home to keep in our prayers… For me, the trip had many downs but I definitely have had more adventures to add to my list:)Here are some pics of the trip… This is Cecil with some people he met.


This is our Russian team members talking with some villagers…

This is me and my faithful buddy Tim..


It’s been 6 days since I got back from the trip. The sunburn is gone, my bites are slowly healing, and my cough is not as frequent. Hooray hooray. I’ve been resting, doing some last time things. I was a part of my last Khabarovsk team meeting and worship time with the Eshelman and Hinson families. Those worship times are something I am really going to miss. I’ve hung out with a few of my girlfriends for the last time. Sunday was my last time at my church here in Khabarovsk. The Pastor surprised me by having me come up front to be prayed for. I didn’t know that they realized it was my last Sunday. I am very thankful for my Russian church family. They have been amazing.

During the mission’s trip, I read through the books of Micah and Habakkuk. Micah is only 7 chapters and Habakkuk only like three but I really got a lot out of it. In the midst of suffering, Micah says, “But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.” (Micah 7:7) And in the second part of verse 8, “Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.” Habakkuk is asking God why things were so terrible in Judah. He goes on and on and on asking God why… but even though things were so horrible Habakkuk says, “yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” (Hab. 3:18) Even in the hard and difficult times, these men remained faithful. They knew that in the end God would come through for them. They knew that God would prove true to the promises made to them. “But as for me”, “Though I have fallen”, “yet I will rejoice”… even though hard things HAD happened and WERE happening they trusted in God’s plan. They knew that Gods plan was better than their own even if they didn’t understand it themselves and couldn’t see a way out because they sat “in darkness”. May we always remain true and faithful to the Lord. No matter what happenS. No matter what happenED. The Lord is faithful.

I leave 5 days from today (my time). I’m excited because the day I leave, my church is having a water baptism. As long as I have my luggage in the car, I should be able to attend. What a way to end my trip!!!

I hope to have one more blog from Russia or at least partly. I have a 7 hour layover in Seoul so I may have some time to spare there:) Please be praying for the remaining 5 days of my trip. God can do anything in 5 days!!! Pray for everything to go smoothly with tying things up with the university and dorm. Pray for safety, and no problems with my trip home. Also, for when I get home. I’ve been gone for almost 6 months… A lot changes in 6 months. My family moved to a different house so I don’t even know where my bed is let alone the house! I will be counseling at youth camp the week after I get home, I need to find a job, school starts in August… there will be a lot of challenges with going back home but I’m excited to start this next part of my journey!

I’m not who I was when I first arrived in Khabarovsk. Soon I will be seeing just how much I’ve changed. It will be kind of like an unveiling:)

Who you are and all that you’ve done for me is amazing.

A city girl,
Leah

“…two worlds…”

Dear Friends,

Sorry I haven’t gotten a post up for so long. I’ve been MIA for the past couple weeks. But I return with lots of stories to tell you! Let’s see, your weather forecast since we last talked was… Unpredictable. We had some warm, sunny days that were gorgeous. But we’ve had a lot of cold rainy days, especially this past week. I’m wondering if the seasons are going backwards…

I am officially done with my semester at the university. I SURVIVED! :) I lost count of how many times the finals were rescheduled. My geography exam was on what I have done worst. We listened to our teacher read a text, then we had to rewrite it. My Russian language exam was that we had to memorize 10 texts and 10 dialogues that we had written throughout the semester. For the actual exam we had to pick up a piece of paper that had 1 text and 1 dialogue and recite it. Technically, I don’t need these Russian classes for my degree. I can possibly use them as electives but I really didn’t HAVE to pass these classes. My sister kept telling me to stop freaking out about the exams because I didn’t have to transfer them. But I wanted to the best I could because I knew that I was representing Americans, Christians, and myself as a person and student. With all the rescheduling and a lot of ministry events during the exam study time… I was sure I was going to bomb both tests. But God showed up for each of my exams. I did the best I’ve done on anything in geography and received a 5 (highest score) and also got a 5 on my Russian language exam. It was only because of God:) I’m definitely not a pro with speaking or writing Russian. I was at a store today and the lady working was talking and I had no idea what she was saying. I just kept saying uh huh uh huh… I couldn’t help but smile to myself when I left that store cause she had no idea that I didn’t get anything she said:)

My goodbyes with people at the university were very different than I had pictured them. Pretty much all of the students in the other classes were done before us and never said an official goodbye. The other ones were very sudden and it wasn’t until they left that it really hit me that that had been a real goodbye. On the last day, my classmates had to go do some paperwork before class was over and they wouldn’t get done in time for the rest of class. It was a very sudden goodbye and I fought tears for a little while. Thankfully, I saw them in the hall later on and we all walked back to our dorms together like we did pretty much every day after class. It had a little more of a finish to it then it had in the classroom… Those guys will be hard to forget:) миша, иван, and толя will always have a special place in my heart. My favorite teacher Ekaterina was a goodbye that I was dreading. She was so awesome to me and to the other people in my class. She was kind of a second mom to me… Her goodbye was also one that was on the spot. She gave me a small gift, said a few things, and left very quickly. I think it was just as hard for her as it was for me.

I’ve lived here for about 5 months now… With all its queerness and difficulties, Russia has stolen my heart. It’s a place I’ve learned to call home. A people that I have learned to call my friends. The last few weeks, I have been in an emotional struggle. It’s like I live in two worlds. America and Russia. Where do I belong? Where is home? I talked with my sister about it a little. And she spoke my thoughts about how that heaven is our home. That’s why we never really do feel AT home. On earth, my home is in God’s presence. THAT is where I belong. That is the only place on this earth that I will feel like I’m home. And wherever Gods presence is… that’s my home. Wherever God wants me… that’s where I belong. Russia has been my home for 5 months. That’s where God has wanted me. Next, my home will be back in Illinois, although with a lot of changes… For someone like me, who has moved around a lot, the verse that talks about storing up treasures in heaven… that really makes sense. So that’s what I’m doing. Storing up all these treasures for my real home:)

In May, the English teacher that I met my first week here (and the one I did a podcast for), called me up and asked if I could record some texts in English for her. Sure, I said, how hard can reading some texts in my native language be? She gave me a stack of papers and said we would record in a few days. Would that be all right? Sure thing! No problem! I started reading them on the way home from school just to see what I would be reading about. Architecture. Greek architecture history. With names and places that shouldn’t be legal in the English language. Thankfully, being a Bible reader, Sunday School attender, and former JBQer, I knew how to pronounce about 4 names correctly… Out of about…. 30. I tried googling the way to pronounce them but then I found that some of the names in the texts they gave me weren’t even spelled right! At that point I gave up and just went with what sounded right. Sooooo if you ever are discussing the history of Greek architecture with a native of Russia that attended my university… It’s not my fault. The English teacher forced me. What a way to make me feel even more confused about languages! Stick some Greek words in front of me… This English teacher ended up inviting me to go to a theater here in Khabarovsk. It was a drama theater but I figured she would translate if I needed it. So we went. And I didn’t understand a word of it. I understood there was tension between those two characters and those two were conniving together… but other than that. No clue. After the performance, I tried getting an idea of what had happened from the teacher. No such luck. The teacher said, “Maybe the musical theater would have been better.”

While on the bus to the theater we talked most of the way. There was a girl my age that I noticed listening to us very intently. I was surprised when she continued to listen because usually by that time people stop listening because they don’t understand what we are saying. I figured she must understand enough English to get an idea of what we were saying. Finally, she interrupted and asked what state I live in back home. In English. Beautiful English. Come to find out, she lived in Colorado for a year studying at a community college. She gave me her phone number right before she left the bus. I was excited although the English teacher thought it had been rude of the girl to interrupt our conversation:)I texted Natasha (that was her name) the next day and we set up a time to meet that Saturday. We had a great time and where able to explain things about our countries that the other didn’t quite understand. It has been so amazing to see how God has brought all of these girls into my life! I mean, how random is it to meet a girl your age on a bus that lived in the US for a year?!

The last few weeks have been full of lots of other things. Like Mesha Hinson getting dedicated, Amanda Hinsons parents coming to visit, another visit to the homeless shelter, the June orphanage birthday party, I stayed with the Eshelman kids for a few days while Cecil & Tonya were out of town, my interview for the schools journal, an outing with my class to see Kung Fu Panda 2, my 3 day trip on the Trans-Siberian Railway, a picnic out in the country… I’ve been very busy you see:)I’m adding some pics from these activities to make up for my lack of talking about it:)

Trip on the Trans-Siberian Railway… Me and my class….

The June birthday party...
But I want to share with you what will be happening on the 15th of this month (your 14th)। I will be leaving to go on a short missions trip (a missions trip within a missions trip:) for about 10 days. It will be me, Cecil, Tim, a lady from a church in town, and 2 men from a church in a nearby city. The pastors around here have divided areas surrounding the cities into 5 zones and will send a team to cover each zone. We have a zone north of here and will be the first team to go out. We honestly don’t know what to expect. As far as we know, there has been no ministry done in this area for a decade. It sounds like a lot of the people we will be meeting are from minority groups. We will be camping and all the things that come along with that. Pretty sure I won’t even find a real porcelain squatty potty out there. I am asking for your prayers for this trip. There are so many things you can be praying for… Safety, health, working together as a team, guidance, the language barriers even between us team members… the list goes on and on. Honestly, a really big thing you could be praying for me is concerning the mosquitoes. They are really bad out there and I am allergic to the bites… I don’t like puff up and die but they get like 4 times bigger on me than normal bites and everything else is like 4 times worse. Also ticks are a big problem in Russia because they can carry a disease… sorry I keep forgetting which one it is… but pray for that God protects us from these bugs and all their evilness.

This was actually a bit of a struggle for me to say yes to this trip. I had originally said yes, but I had to reevaluate it and my heart. I was so close to not going. But I was reminded (by quite a few people & God) that I was not called to be an ordinary Christian. This trip definitely isn’t normal… So I guess it fits perfectly:) The speaker on Sunday spoke about how God hates it when people are lukewarm. When we are hot is when we are full of Gods fire. We are on fire for God and spreading it around. When we are cold we are constantly trying to get warm. Trying almost anything to get warm. When we are lukewarm we fall asleep because we are comfortable. I want to be on FIRE for God. One of my theme songs while preparing to come here was “Set the World on Fire” by Britt Nicole. The first verse says, “I want to set the world on fire. Wanna set it bright for you. Its everything that I desire. Can I be the one you use?” This is a chance for me to be on fire for God in a place that people may have never heard the name of Jesus. What an opportunity!! Please pray that God can use me on this trip even with all my inadequacies and fears. Mark your calendars. Write a note on your fridge. Add us to the prayer list. Call the prayer chain. Whatever it will take to remind you to pray.

“… You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.” Lam. 3:57

I will see your beautiful faces soon. I love how amazing you are.

Is not going to major in Greek architecture history,
Leah

… the valley of Fear

Greetings dear loved ones-

Pretty sure they have turned the water off in my dorm building at least 10 times in the last 4 months. I’m thinking that they need to change something if they have to work on things that often. Notice how I said “something” and “things”? Like I’m one to talk about plumbing:)Tuesday they were being especially noisy as they worked on whatever it is they were working on. At least they don’t forget to turn the water back on when they leave for the day…

Not much to say about school. Thursday, our teachers finalized when out exams will be. June 3rd we have a regular type test. Mostly grammar exercises. June 8th and June 10th we have geography exams. Apparently, it has two parts to it. June 14th was originally when our teacher said we were to have our text and dialogue test, but me and Mesha talked it over and convinced her into giving us our exams after the regular class time on June 7th. If for some reason I’m not ready, I can take it with Ivan and Tolya on June 14th but I really would like to be done before then. So if all goes as planned I will be done with classes on the 10th of June:) There are a few things that may happen during my last 3 weeks without school. Rest assured that I will let you know about it. One of our teachers told us her birthday is this next week… Apparently, she has told anybody and everybody that her birthday is coming. Mesha called her “sneaky” :) But whether she is sneaky or not, Mesha and I think that the four of us should together give her something. Not sure what but we are thinking about it over the weekend.

So some random facts or maybe I should say “discoveries” that I have made about Russia… Wedding rings are worn on the right hand instead of the left. Which has confused me greatly because I think “Oh, she is married cause her ring is on the left hand… No wait, that’s in America… So she isn’t married… but what if she is a foreigner or something… So she might be married….” People here are more likely to not wear their wedding ring just because they don’t feel like it. Sometimes my teachers wear their wedding rings and sometimes they don’t. My mind runs around in circles and eventually I give up trying to figure if someone is attached or not. Deanna Eshelman was the one who pointed it out to me when I wore a ring on my right hand. She was like, “Are you married?” I answered, “Noooo, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well your ring is on your wedding finger for Russian people. You better switch it.” Thanks Deanna. Apparently, Russian people aren’t much into cold drinks because they think it will give you a sore throat. Now I know why so many places don’t have refrigerated drinks!! So I guess that means no sweet iced tea for me… While I’m thinking of it, another funny story about Deanna and Vera. They have the habit of asking me quite regularly when I’m getting married. Not sure why but they do. So they asked me recently and I replied (with my usual sarcastic humor), “Tomorrow. I’m getting married tomorrow.” They freaked out and were like, “Tomorrow!! Really!! Who are you getting married to?” I wanted to see who they would come up with so I said, “Don’t you know? I thought it would be obvious! Who do you think?” They couldn’t come up with anyone:) I let them ask me a few more questions and then finally told them that I wasn’t getting married. They were disappointed. BUT they haven’t asked me that question again:)

Wednesday evening, I had dinner with the Eshelmans, a professor/pastor from Moscow, and the couple who heads up the shelter that I visited a few months ago. I actually felt like a pastors kid again with all the leaders there for dinner:) It was really cool hearing about the shelters history and the dreams that they have. I didn’t know that they were involved with more than just food, housing, and services (I mean that’s a lot in itself!). But they also help with people getting documents that make living in Russia extremely difficult if you don’t have them. The couple ended up inviting this professor to preach at their shelter on Sunday and we were all invited as well. I will get an official tour of the place since it was cold and dark last time I went. Looking forward to it!

I mentioned last time that I am having a hard time with classes the longer they go on. Not only am I learning a new language, but I’m at school from 9-2 Monday through Saturday. Not much time for a break. Sunday evenings are usually hard for me because they mean the end of my only complete day off from classes and the return to school the next day. This past Sunday I made things really clear to God as to where I was at with school. I needed help and that’s all there was to it. I also prayed that I would see my teacher through Gods eyes and not my own American or student eyes. His eyes. The teacher I have Mondays and Tuesdays loves drama and doesn’t mind making a big deal of small mistakes. I’ve been having a hard time with her lately. So Monday at class my teacher got a call that her son was sick. She spent the rest of the day on and off the phone talking about doctors, medicine, and hospitals… I couldn’t understand it completely. Almost every time she got off the phone there would be fresh tears in her eyes. I don’t know why she was crying… maybe about her son or something else that she was dealing with… but when she looked at me, God spoke to my heart and said, “This is what I see.” What a slap in the face. Even though I’m on a “mission’s trip” I still can lose the whole weight and span of my influence. Near the end of class, my teacher started asking me what church I go to… Which is strange because I don’t remember mentioning it to her other than “What do you on the weekends” kind of questions we have to answer in Russian once in awhile. I told her the name of the church and she asked where it was located. I honestly didn’t know cause I haven’t taken the time to memorize the street or building name, so I pulled out my flier for movie nights cause it has the address on there. She read the entire thing then asked if she could keep the flier… I was blown away. Pray for my teacher. She needs Jesus and to know that He loves her with an everlasting love. Also, I challenge you to pray for those around you. Pray that you will see them through His eyes. But be prepared that He will do just as you ask.

I have been in Russia for four months. The longer I am here, the more interesting it is for me to think back on when I first arrived and all that has happened since. God has been good to me. Some of you may think of me as a fearless adventurer (and you’d be right… hahaha… no), but I have had to overcome some of my biggest and most challenging fears when preparing and actually being here. Asking people for money has never been something I have been comfortable with and I probably never will be. Going to a foreign country that I’ve never been to is slightly freaky. Being away from my family and friends for so long was one of the biggest challenges that I have faced and, honestly, continue to. When getting ready for the trip I would start thinking about it and then get teary-eyed. I would shake myself and say I can’t think about that now. I did that for months. All the way until the day I was leaving I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I tried to hide my tears all the way from home to the St. Louis airport. Especially from my mom:) At the airport I only stopped long enough to get through security, and then I bawled at the gate and on the plane all the way to Chicago. And I know it wasn’t just because I was going to miss my family. It was a combination of stress and facing the great unknown. There is an old song that says “Wrap your troubles in dreams and dream your troubles away”. Sometimes I wish it were that easy…

Fear. Just the word produces so many pictures and emotions… It has the power to control every movement. Every thought. It can reach down into the heart, the very soul of a human being. Its grip is strong and unrelenting. Fear has held millions of people in its grip since creation. After the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, the first emotion that is described that Adam and Eve felt was fear. People who are adventurous are admired for their ability to face normally fearful situations. We put them on a pedestal because we say they are brave, courageous, and we aspire to be like them. Fear is what keeps us from doing the will of God. Fear of what people will think. Fear of failing. Fear of getting hurt. Of getting embarrassed. Fear of being alone. In extreme cases, a fear of dying. The list goes on and on. I face fears just the same as you do. I did in America, I do now, and I will when I go back home. Fear is always ready to attach itself to you. It is always searching for a victim that it can reach into and take the very life out of. I just finished reading a Sherlock Holmes mystery by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The story was centered on a city that became known to its residents as “The Valley of Fear”. This Valley of Fear was the result of a powerful organization that controlled the entire town and would kill anyone who got in their way. One of the most interesting characters in the book was a man who had unknowingly joined this group of murderers and wanted out. He wanted to be free of these men and their dealings but he was too afraid to try to escape. The end of the story was a happy one, for a man gave his life to release the city from this strong force and thus the city was set free. Our own very real world is under such a curse of fear. But Praise the Lord, God sent His son to set us free!!! Fear has lost its grip!!! Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil. For you are with me. Psalm 23:4. Fear is still out there. It waits for its chance to creep into your life. But God has the power to overthrow it. God never lets go. Through the calm, peaceful times AND through the storms of life. Whom then shall we fear? If our God is for us, then who can ever stop us? Hold on to God. Because only He can get you through your Valley of Fear. Only with Him are all things possible.

The time is drawing near when I shall see some of you for real and not just in my memories and pictures. I have 6 weeks left in Russia. Pray that during that time that I would accomplish everything God wants me to do.

I am blessed by your amazingness.

Not getting married tomorrow,

Leah